It's My Life & I Can Cry If I Want To
A reflection on tears and all the feels.
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If you are anything like me, you absolutely despise crying — in general and especially in front of anyone that is not within your very small inner circle. And by small, I mean very small (if you’re like me, of course). My inner circle is inclusive of my family, one friend, who is also my family, and a special someone. Generally, I refuse to let anyone see me cry. However, within the past few months, I have felt a hurricane of emotions — the good, the bad and the ugly.
I recently read an article that stated that American women cry four times a month while American men cry twice a month. Now, the relationship of the frequency of crying between men and women can point to the typical gender roles that we and society put upon ourselves. On the other hand, people generally equate crying with sadness. But, the truth is there is a plethora of reasons why our tears flow. People cry because we’re sad, angry, stressed, frustrated, uncomfortable, overflowing with happiness — the list goes on. Sometimes, we cry because we thought our car was stolen when in actuality, we just forgot where we parked (I am we).
For a long time I felt, and still occasionally feel the need to hold my tears in. In my mind, I thought that being strong was the equivalent to not showing emotion. I felt that it was better to keep my emotion in than to let it out; especially if there was someone around me (again, not within the inner circle).
While I am still very particular about who I show all of my emotions to, I’ve realized that when we don’t cry, we wound up emotionally constipated. It is a gift to have emotional reactions. Instead of pushing feelings aside, choose to feel them. Even if that means taking a walk alone, calling a loved one, hiding in a bathroom stall to let it out (guilty), you’ve got to let it out. It’s your life; you can, and should, cry if you want to.
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